Conflict: I want to be thin. I want to eat this cupcake.

constructive-conflict

Conflict can be healthy.  Conflict that disrupts our state of mind is … well … disturbing.  What about internal conflicts?  Can you relate to any of these:

I want to be thin.  I love cup cakes, just one more

I want to spend more time with family.  I need to make more money.

I want to rest more.  I need to have a clean and organized home.

These conflicts are created internally because we want two things.  This course can help resolve some of those conflicts.

1.  Learn how to be honest.  For instance say, what I really want is to be able to eat whatever I want and also to be thin.  Go ahead laugh and set yourself free.  Isn’t that what you really want!  This makes more sense to our brain.

2.  Accept yourself.  Right now I am eating a cupcake.  I must want this cupcake more than I want to work to be thin.  I keep hoping this cupcake will make me thin.  These are the wishes of a child.  I can see that now.   I’m ready to grow up emotionally.  I accept that if I want to be thin, then I have to work to get there.

3.  Let go of the guilt.  The past no longer exists.  I did what I did and for what purpose does guilt serve.  If I am going to eat it, then why not give myself permission to enjoy it.  I am ready to grow emotionally and next time I will take 3 minutes before I indulge by going over the above exercises in my mind.

4.  Practice positive affirmations.  I will change when I am ready.  Then start to train your brain.  I want to grow emotionally.  I want to empower myself by recognizing that I make these choices and I can choose differently.  I am a remarkable creative being capable of anything I desire.  Say this every bite you take, every time you think of food, every time you feel guilty, every time you have a negative thought about your appearance.

5.  Be specific.  My goal is to work out x times per week, write down everything I eat, take x number of nutrition classes, find one person that reached their goal and ask how they did it, spend x minutes per week exploring easy recipes, spend x minutes per day reading health books, sign up x blogs that will email tips and keep me motivated just to name a few things.

Without clear rules and clear goals, we will drift right back into amnesia.

If you read this list and thought oh that’s too overwhelming who has time to do all of that.  The answer can be I have time to do all of this. I am willing to give up tv.  I am willing to give up the time I sit depressed over my weight.  I can do this because I want to be thin and being thin takes effort.  I can do this because I am a remarkable creative being that can accomplish anything I set my mind to.  This takes us back to #4 which is by far the most powerful tool in our toolbox.

6.  Build Support.  Find friends that will walk with you, meet you at the gym, join weight watchers with you, sign up on line for some free accountability.  It is proven that buddy systems work.  Think about his

If we could have done it by ourselves then we would have already done it!  

We need help.

Are you stuck in conflict?  Have you lost weight?  Do you have tools that help you?  Need help?  Maybe someone today will comment and we can create a buddy system right now!

Advertisements
Categories: accountability, change, empowerment, enilghtenment, goal setting, happiness, health, hope, loose weight, trust | 2 Comments

Post navigation

2 thoughts on “Conflict: I want to be thin. I want to eat this cupcake.

  1. lldonda

    I really need to work on step #4. I get stuck with the self help pep talks. They don’t really work for me. It’s like trying to be Catholic without believing in God. But knowing I have no other choice but to engage in things I’m fearful of forces me to face them and every time I do I’m reassured that it’s going to be okay. I’m a survivor if you will. But it comes at a cost in the way of stress on my body.

  2. It’s always interesting that so many of us would swiftly encourage and offer support to a child if they were berating themselves. We would say things like “you’re not stupid, you’re very smart or of course people like you, or maybe your friend was just having a bad day but don’t take their bad day personal”. Yet when it comes to giving ourselves the same soothing, we balk. Positive affirmations take time to develop and a lifetime to practice. They may feel corny, forced, disingenuous or even a waste of time. The secret is finding a mantra that does feel genuine.

    Let’s say you are impatient at times and would like to be patient more. You may say I am a patient woman. Once you have this declaration of who you are it becomes a living mantra. For example, when I’m stressed I get uptight and the first thing I want to squash is intimacy. I can also become too serious and task orientated. So my mantra is I am a patient, accepting, present and playful woman. Then I can apply that real time to situations that pop up. My children just broke a favorite vase “I’m a patient, accepting, present and playful woman” now what would she do? Or some disturbing news comes my way I say the mantra, take a deep breath, and more quickly relax into a solution instead of a full blown fit of tears ~

    Anyone else have tricks they use to push through and shift out of negative states?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: