Conflict Part Three: Make A Declaration


Conflict is around us all the time.  Ironically while working on this conflict series, there has been upheaval all around both internally and externally.  I have to laugh at myself because today amnesia kicked in and my mind forgot about all these solutions.   I went back and reread the article on ‘relapse’ and why we so easily fall back into old patterns.  This is what trips many of us up.  We relapse and then give up.  A small voice whispers that I’m a hypocrite and should stop writing now.  A stronger voice trusts this process and continues.

“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I know enjoy,” Tony Robbins.

This brings me to the final section in this series, which has been pruned down significantly to make these blogs short and concise, while still meaningful and helpful.

Step 3:  Make a personal declaration.

Declarations sound so much more powerful than the tired and overused word “set a goal”.  Declarations are something we declare, we live in and we keep coming back to.  Goals sound finite.  Goals sound like something we achieve.  Declarations we carry for our lifetime.

Maybe we think we are the impatient type so part of our declaration would be “I’m a patient (woman or man)”.  We may think we are intolerant, hostile, angry, judgmental, boring or lazy.

A declaration would change hostile to maybe peaceful, angry to maybe loving, intolerant to accepting, lazy to energetic.  This is a personal mission and our personal Declaration of Independence.  What is important is to find one that is empowering.  Share this with your friends, have them write one, have your children write one, this can be a fun process.

For example, my declaration is that I’m a patient, accepting, playful and present woman.  So you might guess how I see myself at times when the stress level is cranked up.

We all have two sides to our personality.  The side when we are joyful and the side when we are fearful.  Fear triggers that dark side and this work helps us shift our state instantly.  We can hear ourselves snapping at someone and in a second think what would the patient woman be doing right now.  We can hear our angry voice hit our ears and think what would that peaceful man be saying right now.

Declarations start with I AM.

They use four good descriptive verbs to describe our new state.

Some people laminate them and carry them in their pocket.

We repeat them like a mantra in our mind or we chant them out loud, or we scream them or we write them and we live in them.

The more committed we are, the more we remember it, live it in, say it, believe it, the more power it will have in our life.  We can change our state.  We can create the life we’ve always imagine.  We are remarkable and creative beings.  We can master this.  It is our choice.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power.  Most people dabble their way through life never deciding to master anything in particular,”  Tony Robbins.


Categories: accountability, change, conflict, conflict resolution, empowerment, enilghtenment, goal setting, happiness, health, hope, spiritual development, spirituality, trust | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Conflict Part Three: Make A Declaration

  1. Pingback: Positive Intentions. Negative Results | Ask Larina

  2. Pingback: Demoralization – It’s all just a story | Ask Larina

  3. Pingback: Ego and The Payoff. | Ask Larina

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