We are taught that being uncomfortable is a feeling that must be fixed. Shut that kid up, give him a cookie. Make her happy, tell her what she wants to hear. Just let him have his way, we will all have a better night.
Being uncomfortable means we are pushing our own limits. It is only by pushing our own limits that we realize what we are truly capable of.
What is the payoff for doing this? Greatness. The ability to stretch beyond what we previously thought was possible.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone… So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now… know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning… not an ending… “- Neale Donald Walsch.
This is perhaps the hardest thing to remember when we are shocked. We are zapped by some trauma; sudden loss of job, divorce papers, fatal car accident, life threatening illness. In that shocking moment we may lose hope. We may think “this is the end”. It may be the end; to that chapter. Until you die there are more chapters.
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ― Dalai Lama.
What if we get shocking news and we just sit with it. We don’t focus on the past or our regrets. We don’t obsess on how we got here. We don’t “wish” it to be different. We just sit with those sad feelings and feel them. Once those feelings pass, we can start to plan for solutions.
We may need to accept the “loss” we experience is going to have a big impact on our life. We may have to give things up. We may have to disappoint our children. We may have to imagine a life we didn’t think possible or palatable. A life without this person or without the image we have created in our minds of “how it should be”.
Life is about choice. We can not control what the waves wash ashore. We can very much decide what ‘state’ we choose. My commitment and my state is that of joy. Through tears of sadness I make room acceptance which leads back to joy. Through tragedy and loss, I make room for hope which leads back to joy. Through fear and deep disappointment with the actions of others, I make room for forgiveness. So joy not bitterness, regret, depression, hate, fear, vengeance is where I focus my energy. You can make the same choice in your life if you have not already.
“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways–either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”