What a simple concept. What if we flip this thought? What if the people in our life traded their expectation of us for appreciation? Would we feel closer to them? Would we strive to bring out the best in ourselves? Would we start to see them in a different light?
When we think about how we would like to be treated and how good that feels then perhaps we can take the next step? Would you like to have the power to give this to someone in your life? How do you think they will react to this new approach? What do you think their perception of you would become if you lived in this simple concept?
These are simple concepts but apparently they are extremely difficult to practice; do you see a line of people at your desk sharing their heartfelt thanks and appreciation. We have the power to flip this equation and every time we want appreciation, we can offer it. With some people, we will say thank you, and it will not occur to them to reciprocate. Do not be discouraged. That is an indication of just how much they need appreciation. It is a universal law those who resist praise need it the most. Those who resist love need it the most. Those who resist being vulnerable need vulnerability the most. That being said they only need these things if they wish to develop their feminine side. Those heavily grounded in EGO may scoff at this concept and have little interest in it. This is certainly true when I’m firmly grounded in my ego. Do you find this true for you? That’s when being right, making a point, hitting send on the email, refusing to say I was wrong, and please help me, come into play.
There are two kinds of energy in the world. Masculine energy which is grounded in the EGO and feminine energy which is grounded in intuition. Everyone has both a masculine and a feminine side. Metaphysics state “This basic polarity is part of you whether you are a man or woman, boy or girl.” There are some very masculine women and even fewer feminine men. Feminine energy is usually attracted to healing professions; massage therapists, health practitioners and spiritually based teachings. Masculine energy is usually attracted to positions of power. There is a misnomer we have to be grounded in our masculine energy to offer protection, power and strength. If we look at the most powerful teachers; Gandhi, Jesus, Buddha, etc we see their power was fully grounded in feminine energy.
When we observe children they are fully grounded in feminine energy and joy. Every person is a friend to smile at, the world is an amazing place to be observed and experienced. Children raised in a home where they are not imprinted with social restrictions and labels of how they are supposed to be, grow up developing a stronger feminine energy; empathy, kindness, better impulse control, a stronger sense of self and so on.
“If it can not be explained and make sense to a 4 year old then it’s not truth” – anonymous.
So when I think about a situation in my life, I think how would I explain this to my children. If it sounds like a story or justification then I realize I’m full of EGO. The program I strive to live in requires diligent self appraisal. We ask were we selfish, self seeking, dishonest or afraid? We look at our part in every interaction and ask what we could have done differently? We make amends (by our actions of different living) and we do not allow ourselves to drift into morbid reflection for that would diminish our usefulness to others. This daily inventory is something that I’ve practiced for over 25 years. It gives me the opportunity to grow, to look for my part in situations, to see what I need to heal; all in the name of clearing away blocks to joy.
When we feel hurt it is often a challenge to see our part in the scenario. It could be as simple as we did not know how to ask for what we needed. It could be we put our primitive needs ahead of our own spiritual needs. It does not mean we are wrong when we are hurt or they are wrong if we feel hurt. It means we have work to do, if we choose to do it, and that work is the key to set us free. When I resist this work, blame others, build a case against them and how deficient they are and use justified anger to propel my actions then I stay stuck in what brought me to this uncomfortable place to begin with.
Rhonda Byrne in her book The Secret explains:
“Action is a word that can imply “work” to some people, but inspired action will not feel like work at all. The difference between inspired action and action is this: Inspired action is when you are acting to receive. If you are in action to try and make it happen, you have slipped backward. Inspired action is effortless, and it feels wonderful….”