Sometimes those raw emotions are my favorite to experience. They release the dam of thoughts and feelings that have unknowingly bottled up in me. Have you ever had the feeling you have gone kind of numb? Like nothing in life really moves you? Then someone, an event, or a movie, may break through that numbness and we can experience a great release.
“When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it’s like giving them emotional oxygen.“- Stephen Covey
How can I understand their point of view if I don’t understand mine? How can I understand my point of view if I don’t allow myself to be honest about my thoughts and feelings? How can I express what I’m feeling in healthy ways if I’m disconnected from how I really feel?
We may be angry and instead of repressing it we go work out hard, or with deliberate intention release the anger by breaking or beating on something. We are sad and we let the tears roll, we share those deep held fears and insecurities and we allow ourselves to share those raw emotions.
My ego may say to hide those emotions because others will just see them as a sign of weakness. I believe they are a sign of strength. I also believe that real emotions frighten many people. They may stare at me funny, hide from me, be afraid to dialogue with me, or even get mad at me for showing those raw emotions.
With my own children, I encourage them to share those raw emotions and they do! When I can see they have too much pent up emotion, we have a 30 minute do whatever you want party. This involves throwing pillows, jumping up and down, screaming and shouting out what they are thinking and feeling. They are allowed to say what they want without retribution. At the end they usually laugh, hug me, hug each other and the mood is lightened. How interesting that children ready to bite my head off and beat each other silly after just a short time of releasing their tension are laughing and feeling close.
The thought for today is what can I do to release my raw emotions with deliberate intention? My experience and observation is those who stuff their emotions act them out sideways. When I target someone with rage or vengeance (in my mind or otherwise), ejaculate my emotions all over another, download my unease onto my children or spouse then all I do is grow my unease instead of release it.
So today I will risk being silly, dare to look foolish, be brave enough to say I am scared and really need a hug instead of biting everyone’s head off!