Feeling deeply connected to my American Indian roots I am most happy out in nature and barefoot. My children are being raised in a nature based environment and they love to fish, camp, make fires, craft tools, creek walk and eat wild game. Even our middle child the quintessential debutant extraordinaire; as long as it’s not ‘to disgusting or dirty’ will partake in the adventures of wildlife.
The funny thing about nature is it often illuminates humans primitive nature. In nature, there are strong connections within members of the same ‘ tribe’. Some tribes may mingle peacefully and even benefit from one another. However, the core tribe always sticks together.
For all our advancements, I’m not sure humans are much different. There are those people we instantly feel connected to and love to be around. It’s easy. They may make us laugh or we may feel at home in their presence without ever having to do or say much. If we are fortunate, this is true in our family. Often times this is not the case and we may feel like an alien around our ‘biologicals’.
No matter how hard we, or they, may try, if they are not members of our tribe the relationship will be forced. There may be times we even really like the person, but on that deep primitive level we just don’t have the same ‘connection’ to them.
What is interesting is this question “do I ignore those relationships that are easy? Do I focus too much energy on those encounters that are negative or with people that I don’t really connect with?” How often in an attempt to be liked, understood, accepted or to get a job done, do we force ourselves into a role that does not match our core self?
What would it look like if I didn’t put much energy into forced relationships. Instead what if I truly invested most of my energy and focus on members of my own tribe. Those relationships that I lean on when in pain or deep need, those people that warm my heart to be around or just the thought of them brings joy.
What if I started to accept that members outside my tribe have value in my life, but I don’t have to force myself into a role to accommodate them? This means dropping shallow relationships, people pleasing and seeking out the approval of others.
We don’t have to reject others outside our tribe nor do we have to go out of our way to find common ground. We can simply be who we are and allow them to be who they are. We don’t have to understand them, change them, make them wrong or be bewildered by them. We can drop all those conditions and just ‘let them be’. What would that look like in our life?
Friendships take effort. My challenge is to put more effort into those friendships that are easy and flow naturally. The ones I really enjoy but am ‘too busy to really enjoy’! That is my challenge for this month. I’ve been so happy these past few weeks because I’ve focused on my friendships and not so much on my ‘roles’.