“When we stay close to the wisdom of our own knowing, seeking solutions to our problems in the sanctuary of the heart and not in the vanity of the mind, then we can pretty much trust in the unfolding, mysterious wisdom of life.” Marianne Williamson
When we turn off our thinking mind (the part of ourself that has a ‘story’ about ‘what he did’ or ‘what she said’) and look within, we are much more likely to have a breakthrough.
My heart wants to hug my daughter when she is sad. Can my heart see her anger as a cry for help and still offer that same hug? Only if I steer clear of my thinking mind that judges her behavior as “wrong”. What if I can look past the obvious judgment that “rolling eyes and snotty faces suck” and see the little girl inside who’s struggling to find her limbs (literally) as hormones invade her sanctuary like rogue aliens?
What happens when I meet the heated reactions of anyone with openness? What if I just stand present and alert and listen? What if I listen with an ear dedicated toward seeing their point of view? What if I truly desire to understand where they are coming from without making judgments about what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’? What if I can take it even further? What if that one person, the one person who rants about their latest target because they always have to have someone or something to rail against, is the one person I can be the nicest to? What if I believe that anyone who acts that reactive is the one person who needs the most healing?
It looks like peace. It feels like peace. It feels like someone else’s fear and reaction does not have to be absorbed by me and then discharged onto someone else; by me. It can just be allowed to dissipate, like the steam off a kettle. What if I see past the steam and into their heart? What would I see there? Fear? A small child in need of a hug?
My daughter and her friend have stepped on each others nerves. We were talking about how to move past the anger (our minds) and into how we feel (our hearts). They embraced the idea that when one of them turns into the creature alien version of themselves (with sour faces, crossed arms and acid tongues) they could just say “does someone need a hug today”.
They decided this would be their ‘safe’ word complete with giggles and skits to overdramatize what it would look like. How often could we resolve a conflict with that idea? We may not be able to go around hugging in the traditional sense but we can hug with our eyes, with a smile and with our hearts when someone has ‘spun’ out by staying present and alert. We can watch their ‘episode’ like steam from a kettle simply disappear. We do not have to take it on. We do not have to react to it. We can simply choose to let it go. To see them as a little person inside really needing a hug.
If we could do that, would we see their magnificent self? Would we realize our magnificent self? Magnificent you is capable of anything. How can you know what magnificent you is, unless you are challenged? Unless you are put into experiences that are uncomfortable as a way to practice. Did you fail this time? Good. Do it again, because the difference between a master and a student is the master has failed more times then the student has tried.
Don’t worry magnificent you, there will be plenty more chances to stretch into your greatness! Look here they come now, they may have just cut you off in traffic, told you your kid is less than perfect, hurled their vengeance your way, or you may even be married to them….. What will magnificent you do?