They are all around us. They pursue their base instincts without regard for whom they harm. Contempt, and indifference, are their trademark. They judge harshly, the actions of others, while they steal others work to claim as their own. They expect the world, but resent any requests made upon their own time. They give very little, and take far too much. They demand. They deflect. They deny. Narcissist lie gratuitously, about matters great and small.
“…a person’s complete self-absorption results in an insidious tendency to devalue those within his or her sphere of influence, either subtly with condescension, or openly with criticism.” The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissist.
They dash into the room and light it up. They command attention. Strangely others may feel compelled to hang on their every word. Unabiding fealty is expected. Discourse is ignored or resented. They seem all powerful, but ironically, they are emotional infants. They are all around us, and at times within us all. They are the little tyrant at work and at home.
“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.” Haile Selassie
They create a matrix where details do not matter. They allow issues to pile up so high, and provide too little time, to properly address them. They create a manic construct, whereby mostly knee jerk decisions prevail. Unsuspecting ‘victims’ are caught up in their culture, and perpetuate the virus, that demands more; numbs all reason, so we compromise to the lowest common denominator.
“Tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance.” – Albert Maysles
So how do we cope with these sorts? How do we keep ourselves from being swept into their orbit, at the cost of our own mental health and integrity? How do we repel their charm that normalizes dangerous behavior and minimizes the seriousness of their sociopathalogical view of the world?
We stand firm in our own power. We march forward with our own good work. We say no. We do not seek their approval and we do not wait for it. We continue on the path of light, and they will simply begin to ignore us. They will find a new minion to do their bidding. They will turn their attention to others that can serve their needs.
See them not as an all powerful force, but rather a big baby, always on the verge of a tantrum or tirade. These are the emotional infants in our society, who have simply risen to a position of power, because we have allowed them to. They are the petulant prince/princess. Too many before us thought it was easier to give in than to say NO! “No” without a charge or any reactivity; just simply NO.
Do not attempt to reform these sorts, or fight them head on. You will lose. Unless you are a sociopath, these sorts are willing to let anyone suffer in their way and want to be right more than do what’s in the best interest of all. Frankly, they do not care, in the same sense others do. They will let things fail, even let people suffer, rather than ever admit their own shortcoming(s).
In most cases, they want a greater share of the spoils. On some level, they recognize the ‘workers’ can bring the spoils. So if others simply focus on their own good work, and that produces some results, then the narcissist will be happy to leave them alone.
Use their indifference as an opportunity to have autonomy.
Have a sense of humor and learn to laugh at their outrageous requests. Do what works as they are too self absorbed to follow up or manage their own expectations.
They can recognize a wiling servant; someone with low self esteem or high fear. So work out your own sh*t and don’t become a target.
The more you attempt to ‘please’ the more you set yourself up to be used. So focus on taking care of you!
The more you attempt to be recognized for your work; the more they will ignore you. So learn to value yourself and drop the needs for the recognition of others.
Don’t let your own inner tyrant reign supreme. Say thank you. Show your appreciation to others who are available in your life. Stop to be kind to someone who can do nothing for you. Give to someone who would never ask for or expect your help. Drop those high demands of how ‘others should be’. Pull inward.
Be teachable. We get to learn to separate our ego demands from our self worth. We can learn to be autonomous and independent; free from the shackles of outside approval and recognition. Until then we are floppy seals allowing ourselves to be tossed around by the killer whale who does so for sport. We suffer. They play. This can only happen if we allow it to.
“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent” – Thomas Jefferson.
We speak our mind with our actions and intent. Our work becomes our spokesperson. Be a part of the solution. Act in accordance with our own inner guidance. This higher vibration is fulfilling. When I do more work. When I care more. When I feel the imbalance is unfair. I remind myself those sorts have dull eyes. They are not happy. They suffer in their own way because they are lonely and disconnected from any meaningful attachment. They have an empty internal darkness that no matter how much they earn, how much they do, how much they achieve; it’s never enough and neither are they!
Perhaps we have all fed that empty darkness at some time in our life. Some dark time when were comfortably numb. And if we’ve ever done that, then we know we don’t ‘get away’ with it. Their is a price to pay for indifference. I have paid the price and choose to never go back! I choose joy!
What will you choose?